Why I started the Aliyah Blog

I recently returned home from a trip to Israel. Upon my return I posted the following note on face book:

On my recent trip to Israel the following thought/question formed in my mind:

I have wanted to make aliyah for pretty much as long as I remember. I mean I have wanted out of Toronto since elementary school. My parents were never going to send me away for high school, but I knew that once I graduated I would go to Israel for the year and never come back. You know what they say though, "man plans and god laughs." I must be very funny because after being rejected from four different post-secondary design programs in Israel I had the choice of staying in Israel and attempting to follow in the footsteps of Indiana Jones or return to Toronto and pursue a design education there. After a complete emotional meltdown I decided to follow my head rather than my heart and I returned to Toronto. Coming back to Toronto was crazy difficult for me. Besides having to deal with the rejection and failure there was this nagging feeling that something would cause me to get stuck here. After those feelings passed I was left facing four years living a double life partially in Toronto and partially in Israel, constantly traveling back and forth between the two.

But most of you know all that already. So here comes the question.

I have spent so many years of my life diverting so much emotional and physical energy into trying to make aliyah, what is going to happen when I finally succeed?
IY'H I have only six months left in Canada. After that it will be like I have suddenly lost my entire raison d'etre. What then? I mean yes I have other goals besides living in Israel and I can channel that excess energy into those other avenues. Or maybe I can allow myself to live in the moment for a bit instead of always planning and looking towards the future. Either way I am interested to know what my mental state will be like when the time comes.

The note generated a fairly good response so I may as well share more of my pre-aliyah experiences and thoughts with anyone who is interested.